In the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment, questions concerning the ego often arise. Is it a boon or a bane? Must we eradicate it entirely to reach a state of inner tranquillity and joy? These inquiries have puzzled seekers of spiritual growth for ages.
The ego, or our self-perception, can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it motivates us to aspire to greatness, and on the other, it brings suffering when we judge ourselves against others. But does it imply that we must entirely disengage from our egos to attain authentic inner peace? This article delves into these profound questions, shedding light on how comprehending our egos can guide us towards enhanced self-realization and spiritual evolution.
Join me on this journey as we dissect the nature of the ego and uncover why it’s crucial not to dismiss it outright in our quest for “higher consciousness”.
The origins of the ego
In Freudian psychology, the ego symbolizes the “I”, the defensive aspect of our personality, caught in a tug of war between the demands of the “id”, the “superego”, the “self-ideal”, and the pressures of the external world:
- The “id” signifies our instincts and unconscious drives that the ego must direct, curb, and moderate.
- The “superego” embodies the internalized prohibitions learned during childhood, serving as a quasi-unconscious moral law for the ego to heed.
- The “self-ideal” represents what we aspire to become, bearing a strong narcissistic element.
- The external world includes all societal constraints and the individual’s living conditions.
How do these aspects interact?
Envision a scenario where you’re out for a casual drink with coworkers, and you’re famished. You spot a bowl of chips (crisps). Your id tempts you to seize as many as possible and instantly satiate your hunger. Yet, your superego counsels you against it, reminding you of your commitment to a healthy diet. Your self-ideal, picturing you as a disciplined, health-conscious person, reinforces this advice. Lastly, societal norms come into play as you don’t want to appear ill-mannered or lacking self-control before your peers.
In this context, all four personality facets cooperate to shape your actions. Your id nudges you to succumb to your desires, while your superego, self-ideal, and societal expectations encourage you to behave in a manner consistent with your values and aspirations. The resulting decision factors in all these influences, facilitating a choice that fulfils your needs and wants but also consider the repercussions.
Imagine your ego as a compass, balancing your internal and external forces to help navigate life. However, just like a compass, our egos can sometimes malfunction.
An overly bloated ego resembles a compass that’s fixated on the North, refusing to budge. Such individuals constantly consider themselves correct, often at the expense of others. Conversely, an underdeveloped ego is akin to a compass that’s lost its North. Such people struggle to stand up for themselves and are easily swayed by others, incessantly adopting new philosophies, and amassing a plethora of books, yet never discovering their own path.
It’s understandable that such ego imbalances can induce pain and suffering, tempting you to suppress or overlook your ego. However, your ego is an indispensable instrument for traversing life and functioning in society.
The distinct and complex concept of the ego in the perspective of Buddhism signifies an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, propelling inner conflict. The concept of non-self, the realization that nothing is entirely permanent and self-sustaining, is a key to liberation.
My personal journey with Freemasonry has taught me that the ego doesn’t have to serve as a perpetual adversary on the spiritual path. Rather than combating it, we can learn to harness and control it, thus liberating ourselves from its shackles. This journey has also enlightened me to the fact that immense self-work is required to accomplish this.
Can you liberate yourself from your ego?
No, you can’t. If you were hoping for an affirmative answer, I regret to disappoint. You might encounter “ego death” or a milder form, “ego dissolution”. As the name implies, your ego dies, and you are acutely aware of its demise, your identity ceases to exist, and you are cognizant of this drastic change. Does that sound horrifying?
The nature of these experiences can be wildly unpredictable. My initial encounter with ego death was an out-of-this-world experience, and then it happened again, this time with a different tone. The early stages of my experience were disorienting, fragments of my reality were distorted, and it wasn’t a peaceful feeling, just abrupt.
Suddenly, I felt myself reduce to an infinitely insignificant point, surrounded by shapes and words that seemed to communicate something, but I couldn’t quite comprehend what it was. Despite their incomprehensibility, I felt as though I understood them. A deluge of information, unintelligible, but it “felt” like it was information. They were words, they were phrases, but incomprehensible.
I felt as if I was returning to reality, but I was far from it. Everything went dark. I could hear my heartbeat and my breathing. The sounds started to gradually fade, and I felt myself evaporating from existence in a moment, in a blink, a blink that seemed to stretch for eternity.
This state became increasingly overwhelming. I remember attempting to whisper, “This is happening,” but I lost a grip on my sense of self. Complete darkness. I couldn’t feel myself, I couldn’t experience anything as “myself”, I was simultaneously everything and nothing. A volley of existential questions seemed to emerge from the depths of my soul. My perception of reality seemed to come undone as I wrestled with questions such as “Who am I?” and “What is the meaning of life?” The responses that appeared to me were ominous, as if a curtain had been drawn and I was now privy to the harsh truth about the world and my role in it. It was as if I had been living in a dream, only to be abruptly awakened and faced with the cold, hard reality of existence. Everything suddenly lost meaning. It became scarier.
The fear that consumed me at that moment was all-encompassing, a black hole that threatened to swallow me whole. I felt as though I was afloat in an endless void, with no anchor to cling to as the waves of terror washed over me. The world around me seemed to have taken on a sinister edge, as if the very fabric of reality was unravelling and threatening to engulf me and everyone I cared about. The once-familiar shapes and colours that surrounded me had taken on an otherworldly quality.
I felt as though I was standing on the brink of an abyss, teetering on the edge as I grappled with the unbearable weight of existence. The questions that once seemed abstract now felt all too real and pressing, each one demanding an answer that I could not provide. It was as if I was being stripped of everything I had ever known, every concept, every belief, every relationship, every personal identity. I felt as though I was being confronted with the stark reality of existence, and it was terrifying.
The experience was akin to being plunged into a deep ocean, tossed around by powerful currents, with no sign of land or any sense of direction. It was a disorientating, disconcerting experience that left me feeling completely unmoored. I was forced to confront the stark reality of existence, which was a far cry from the comforting illusions I had previously clung to.
However, as horrifying as the experience was, it was also strangely liberating. Stripped of all pretences, all social constructs, all layers of identity, I felt a profound sense of freedom. It was as though I was experiencing the world in its raw, unadulterated form, unclouded by my prejudices, assumptions, and preconceived notions. It was an incredibly humbling experience that forced me to reevaluate my understanding of myself and my place in the world.
In the aftermath of this trip, I slowly pieced together my sense of self, carefully examining each fragment before reintegrating it into my identity. I was forced to confront my fears, my insecurities, my assumptions, and my biases, and in doing so, I emerged from the experience with a deeper, more nuanced understanding of myself and the world around me, hopefully.
The experience was tough. It was a gruelling, often terrifying journey into the depths of my psyche. But in the end, it was a journey that was well worth it. The insights I gained from this experience have profoundly shaped my understanding of the world and my place in it. I came to realize that my ego, as much as it may be a source of pain and conflict, is also an essential part of who I am. It is a tool that enables me to navigate the world, and like any tool, it can be used for good or ill.
The journey to self-discovery and self-understanding is a deeply personal and unique one. It is a journey that demands courage, honesty, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. But it is also a journey that can yield profound insights and a deeper understanding of our place in the world. So, while you can’t “liberate” yourself from your ego, you can certainly learn to understand it, harness it, and ultimately transform it into a force for good in your life.
Recommended books
- “The Ego and the Id” by Sigmund Freud: This book is a cornerstone of Freud’s theories of the psyche and explores the concept of the ego as the conscious, rational part of the mind that mediates between the desires of the id (the unconscious, instinctual part of the mind) and the demands of the external world.
- “The Undiscovered Self” by Carl Jung: In this book, Jung discusses the concept of the ego as the center of the personality and the focus of the individual’s conscious experience. He also explores the role of the ego in psychological development and how it relates to the self and the unconscious.
- “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche: This book is a Tibetan Buddhist guide to the journey of life and death and discusses the concept of the ego as an illusion that separates us from our true nature. The book explores the importance of letting go of the ego in order to achieve enlightenment and find inner peace.
- “The Gnostic Gospels” by Elaine Pagels: In this book, Pagels explores the Gnostic tradition, a form of early Christianity that emphasizes the individual’s direct relationship with God and the importance of knowledge (gnosis) in achieving spiritual liberation. The Gnostics saw the ego as a hindrance to spiritual growth and advocated for its transcendence in order to achieve a higher state of being.
